What a Girl Wants…Or No Longer Wants

18 Jun

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.” – John Muir

So, I’ve been home from Yosemite for a week now…and I desparately want to go back. Now!

Going into this trip, I was anticipating that it would impact me – not sure how, but I just sensed I would come back a little different. I now know that I have.

Glacier Point

I am still struggling to articulate how this journey has changed me. I guess the best I can say is that I’m no longer sure that I want what I’ve wanted in life anymore. This sounds way worse than it is meant to – I’m just not sure that I want the same things that I thought I wanted so badly.

Jason in His Element

Here’s an example: about 3.5 years ago, Jason and I bought our house. It is an older Victorian-era house that was in rough shape. Both of us had always dreamed of fixing up an old house, and we’ve been living that dream since 2007, since before we got married. It has been the focus of our life together.

There are so many things we’ve wanted to do to our house, and we’ve accomplished quite a few of them. But now we are at financial crossroads, a point where we will be able to pour a lot of our hard-earned money into some of the biggest, most expensive house projects we’ve been planning. After eagerly awaiting this for three years, I don’t know if I want to do it anymore.

Sitting in the plane, watching the Sierra Nevada Mountains pass along below us, I started to cry – well, not full out cry, I just teared up a little. I wanted the plane to turn around and take me back to the High Country of Yosemite. I began planning our next trip – back to Yosemite and to so many other amazing places I want to travel to. I started thinking of our dream home, the one we plan to have “someday,” in the way out there future. I thought about the resources we have and what we would need to do to live the life we really want. And then I wondered why in the world I would postpone my dreams any longer…

I am not a deeply spiritual person by any means. I don’t believe that I found God up in the mountains, but that place, Yosemite, and particularly the High Sierras, did make me believe in a truly peaceful, happy life. And now this is what I really want.

See what giving the outdoors a chance can do?

Question: Have you had an experience that changed, or impacted, what you want in life? Did you embrace the change or did life continue the way that it had?


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